what does it mean to be successful?
being that i'm sixteen years old, i'm just now starting to realize just how much i am about to take upon myself as an adult. i always strive to be the best possible version of myself, constantly pushing to become just a little bit better. but the ultimate goal has yet to become clear to me.
many people find that success means renown and fame, exorbitant wealth, or maybe just peace and quiet. right now, i'm on a search to find what i define as success. for the time being, i just want to be happy. with an ultimate goal in mind, i set out on my day to day life in the overly clichéd pursuit of happiness.
no matter how simple or trite the pursuit of happiness may seem, it's something that i hold very dearly; every step along the journey i have embarked upon is a result of careful thinking and planning. the next phase of my life seems to be to continue onto college after high school to hopefully achieve my dreams as a computer programmer. sure, it's a pretty 'nerdy' thing to be interested in but for the time being at least, it's what i want to do to keep food in my mouth and a roof over my head. i suppose if money was of no consequence in living in today's world, i'd be a far different person, someone who spends even less of their time on assignments for school, and even more on improving myself as a musician with the ultimate goal of becoming an entertainer not only for the pleasure of an audience being enthralled by beautiful melodies but for the sake of appreciating the sounds of music for the ethereal experience that they create simply for myself. i don't know what in particular makes music such an appealing aspect of life for me, but there's an inexplicable attraction to rhythm and sound. there is something about the impact of sound on my sense of hearing that makes me finally find happiness, no matter what circumstances may be the case for me. so why give up on the dream of playing music? the answer is about as simple as you'd expect; i rationalize to myself constantly that the reason i don't want to pursue music is that it's a field that few can succeed in, but i realize that i made this excuse simply so that i can hide from the fear it derives itself from; whenever put in circumstances where the outcome is uncertain, it is easy to simply seek an alternative. however, the reasoning behind my current choice of career is not entirely based upon rationale; i hold technology just as near as music to my heart - the reason is quite obvious to me now that i have sat and thought upon it for a while. i love to create, although with a preference to create things that i can be proud of myself. otherwise, what's the point? everything i do, say, act, et cetera are representative of who i am. if my creations are anything less than what i'd like them to be they are a poor representation of myself and i'd prefer that people know who i am, not what i seem to be.
in any case, these thoughts have immersed me in a state of self reflection, and i have a regents to study for. i suppose that is the next step on my path of success.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
common app
words on a piece of paper, a blinking cursor on a computer screen. a series of numbers, a list of extracurricular activities. my ethnicity, my parent’s education history, my birthdate, my age, my social security number. somehow these essentially random characters are supposed to be representative of who i am and what i can be.
i’d beg to differ, common app.
on paper, i’m just another hispanic kid with decent academics and standard credentials that barely separate me from the kid sitting next to me right this very moment. decent sat scores, a mediocre transcript, i’m hardly more than average; just what you’d expect out of a small community like new paltz.
this is not christopher james bravo.
sports have been a defining aspect of my life since my early childhood; expectations were interesting to say the least. my elder siblings and father pressured me to play soccer, the game of ecuador, south america, the whole world. a universal language spoken between the ten toes of many a player. however, my aspirations were ruined by my respirations. asthma has been a crippling factor in trying to achieve my goals athletically. having given up the game of my ancestry in exchange for the intelligent man’s sport, long distance running, i ended up even more restricted by my physique: foot skills would do me no good in a world where it doesn’t matter how fast you can sprint from one end of the field to the other. at first, all i wanted was to be able to complete a race five kilometers long; but now my dreams have expanded beyond improving myself individually. i have been tasked with the well renowned captainship of new paltz cross country, a team that hasn’t even lost a dual meet in 5 years, only defeated by schools triple its size at large invitationals and the sectional championship meet. i can’t let my ex-teammates down, so i feel an obligation to lead my team, my family to one more victory over fdr high school to secure the mid-hudson athletic league’s equivalent of the stanley cup.
music is something i can immerse myself in where i feel i finally found a home that isn’t my computer or the internet; i am able to immerse myself in the vibrations emitted from my saxophone, i find a peace that i am unable to achieve anywhere else in the whole world. there’s something about the tactile feel of my fingers pressing against the pearly keys and how i direct air through the carefully hand carved mouthpiece. every detail has been carefully tracked, to ensure that only the best quality of sound can escape from my playing. without a doubt, i strive to achieve only the best in my playing, spending dozens hours on a single miniscule measure, hundreds on a single piece, thousands on a single concert. i, however, differ from the average alto player; many people would expect me to be sitting at a park bench in central park, softly blowing smooth jazz, or maybe sitting in a subway ripping away at charlie parker or coltrane riffs. no, that really isn’t my style. i’m the musician standing alongside the grand piano in carnegie hall, blowing away the audience, making them doubt that the saxophone wasn’t an instrument that the great composers of old wrote music for.
ultimately, it comes down to how i want to plan the rest of my life. i feel that college is my path to success in doing what i want to do with the rest of my life. for now, i’m most interested in computer science and engineering programs because of my love of logic, math, and science; but, i’m ready to adapt at a moment’s notice should an opportunity arise because i want to succeed and i know i can do that at this university.
sincerely,
christopher bravo
i’d beg to differ, common app.
on paper, i’m just another hispanic kid with decent academics and standard credentials that barely separate me from the kid sitting next to me right this very moment. decent sat scores, a mediocre transcript, i’m hardly more than average; just what you’d expect out of a small community like new paltz.
this is not christopher james bravo.
sports have been a defining aspect of my life since my early childhood; expectations were interesting to say the least. my elder siblings and father pressured me to play soccer, the game of ecuador, south america, the whole world. a universal language spoken between the ten toes of many a player. however, my aspirations were ruined by my respirations. asthma has been a crippling factor in trying to achieve my goals athletically. having given up the game of my ancestry in exchange for the intelligent man’s sport, long distance running, i ended up even more restricted by my physique: foot skills would do me no good in a world where it doesn’t matter how fast you can sprint from one end of the field to the other. at first, all i wanted was to be able to complete a race five kilometers long; but now my dreams have expanded beyond improving myself individually. i have been tasked with the well renowned captainship of new paltz cross country, a team that hasn’t even lost a dual meet in 5 years, only defeated by schools triple its size at large invitationals and the sectional championship meet. i can’t let my ex-teammates down, so i feel an obligation to lead my team, my family to one more victory over fdr high school to secure the mid-hudson athletic league’s equivalent of the stanley cup.
music is something i can immerse myself in where i feel i finally found a home that isn’t my computer or the internet; i am able to immerse myself in the vibrations emitted from my saxophone, i find a peace that i am unable to achieve anywhere else in the whole world. there’s something about the tactile feel of my fingers pressing against the pearly keys and how i direct air through the carefully hand carved mouthpiece. every detail has been carefully tracked, to ensure that only the best quality of sound can escape from my playing. without a doubt, i strive to achieve only the best in my playing, spending dozens hours on a single miniscule measure, hundreds on a single piece, thousands on a single concert. i, however, differ from the average alto player; many people would expect me to be sitting at a park bench in central park, softly blowing smooth jazz, or maybe sitting in a subway ripping away at charlie parker or coltrane riffs. no, that really isn’t my style. i’m the musician standing alongside the grand piano in carnegie hall, blowing away the audience, making them doubt that the saxophone wasn’t an instrument that the great composers of old wrote music for.
ultimately, it comes down to how i want to plan the rest of my life. i feel that college is my path to success in doing what i want to do with the rest of my life. for now, i’m most interested in computer science and engineering programs because of my love of logic, math, and science; but, i’m ready to adapt at a moment’s notice should an opportunity arise because i want to succeed and i know i can do that at this university.
sincerely,
christopher bravo
Sunday, June 7, 2015
the rain man
i've been thinking for a while now about what i consider to be an environment in which i am perfectly content. at first, only a few places came to mind so i decided to broaden the range in which i was thinking from only concrete settings to times in which i am satisfied with my life.
the past couple of days have been perpetuated by pouring rain, booms of thunder and blinking lightning. on some days with rough weather all i want is to sit by the window and enjoy the sound of rain on the shingles of the roof, or watch how every individual raindrop splatters against the ground like the canvas for the painter that is the sky. clouds must be good artists, the rain from the clouds paints the art that actually comes to life shortly after the work is complete. even the supposed 'smell' of rain appeals to me; while not a particularly easy odor to identify, it is surprisingly pleasant when i notice it. this particular day, however, my first instinct was to go out in the rain and run around like a complete and utter fool...naturally, i did. the rain was coming down in droves, enough to discourage me to the point of going inside after a mere five minutes, mostly because i wasn't wearing a raincoat. shivering and goose bumps aren't really my cup of tea. my favorite experience with rain was walking in the rain on a warm summer day, just on the rail trail all by myself. it was a serene, ethereal, simply put, beautiful experience. thinking clearly doesn't come easily to me too often, and it's the days i spend wandering in the rain that i am able to understand my thoughts best.
when the rain is pouring, i'm reminded of countless soccer games and team runs. while i'm usually not one to bask in nostalgia, these memories really strike me because they are times in which i was truly happy. the feeling of my hair stuck to my forehead combined with sweat, tears, and rain running into my eyes is one unmatched by that of a shower or swimming in a pool. there's something about rain that just breathes life into me when i'm out in it. it clears my mind, soothes my soul.
ultimately, rain is not so much a place of solace as it is a circumstance in which i am satisfied with everything in my surroundings. my senses are flooded by things that many people would often associate with sadness, but for me remind me of some of the greatest moments of my life. in the following video, you see a shoddy, homemade video of a rainstorm that happened upon the night i received the first of hopefully many scholarships.
the past couple of days have been perpetuated by pouring rain, booms of thunder and blinking lightning. on some days with rough weather all i want is to sit by the window and enjoy the sound of rain on the shingles of the roof, or watch how every individual raindrop splatters against the ground like the canvas for the painter that is the sky. clouds must be good artists, the rain from the clouds paints the art that actually comes to life shortly after the work is complete. even the supposed 'smell' of rain appeals to me; while not a particularly easy odor to identify, it is surprisingly pleasant when i notice it. this particular day, however, my first instinct was to go out in the rain and run around like a complete and utter fool...naturally, i did. the rain was coming down in droves, enough to discourage me to the point of going inside after a mere five minutes, mostly because i wasn't wearing a raincoat. shivering and goose bumps aren't really my cup of tea. my favorite experience with rain was walking in the rain on a warm summer day, just on the rail trail all by myself. it was a serene, ethereal, simply put, beautiful experience. thinking clearly doesn't come easily to me too often, and it's the days i spend wandering in the rain that i am able to understand my thoughts best.
when the rain is pouring, i'm reminded of countless soccer games and team runs. while i'm usually not one to bask in nostalgia, these memories really strike me because they are times in which i was truly happy. the feeling of my hair stuck to my forehead combined with sweat, tears, and rain running into my eyes is one unmatched by that of a shower or swimming in a pool. there's something about rain that just breathes life into me when i'm out in it. it clears my mind, soothes my soul.
ultimately, rain is not so much a place of solace as it is a circumstance in which i am satisfied with everything in my surroundings. my senses are flooded by things that many people would often associate with sadness, but for me remind me of some of the greatest moments of my life. in the following video, you see a shoddy, homemade video of a rainstorm that happened upon the night i received the first of hopefully many scholarships.
Friday, June 5, 2015
failure?
https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=define+failure
so i initially planned on typing out a definition of failure that i copied from the internet, but now i can provide you with this hyperlink to google's idea of what failure is instead.
and now that you have been impressed by all the dictionary definitions of failure and how they seemingly can apply to every definition of failure ever, especially if you viewed urban dictionary's idea of failure, i'd like to introduce you to failure in my life.
last year, i auditioned for the nyssma all state ensembles on alto saxophone, where hundreds, possibly a couple of thousands of applicants try to achieve an honor received by a total of 6 people in 3 different possible groups. with an a+ level score of 99 i had high hopes that i could be accepted into this elite ensemble, surrounded by peers of whom i could finally challenge myself to make music that listeners could truly appreciate. nevertheless, i fell short of my goal, and i was not even chosen as an alternate and i was devastated, hundreds of hours of time spent working on the glazunov concerto, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7lhuxmud3q), a six page long solo with almost no rest, only to be defeated by a mere two lines of music after a flawless rendition of the concerto.
sight reading is supposed to be the 'easy' part of the audition, where you can relax after performing the solo you've spent countless hours practicing for. after seeing what i had to learn in one stressful minute, i took a deep breath and tried my best to create music. to my horror, i failed to play the simplistic lines and felt like a fool. how had i managed to do so well, only to find myself in a situation where i jeopardized my hard work by unlucky circumstances, given a key signature with 6 sharps and irregular rhythms.
in any case, i went in with a similar attitude this year, trying my best to be competitive and beat out every person in the state. nonetheless, i made a conscious decision to set aside my aspirations of getting a perfect score and focused on creating an environment for the judge where i would become more than a nervous high schooler, and more of a professional entertainer who performs not organized noises, but actual music where the judge could appreciate how well i played rather than worry about specific melodies and how they should or shouldn't sound.
in short, my audition last year helped me to grow as a musician to a point where how my audition goes is of less significance to me than how i feel about how i played the music that was written (or unwritten in the case of improvisation) sounded. i feel that my failure was actually my greatest success; without it i would be incapable of the performances i am a part of today.
so i initially planned on typing out a definition of failure that i copied from the internet, but now i can provide you with this hyperlink to google's idea of what failure is instead.
and now that you have been impressed by all the dictionary definitions of failure and how they seemingly can apply to every definition of failure ever, especially if you viewed urban dictionary's idea of failure, i'd like to introduce you to failure in my life.
last year, i auditioned for the nyssma all state ensembles on alto saxophone, where hundreds, possibly a couple of thousands of applicants try to achieve an honor received by a total of 6 people in 3 different possible groups. with an a+ level score of 99 i had high hopes that i could be accepted into this elite ensemble, surrounded by peers of whom i could finally challenge myself to make music that listeners could truly appreciate. nevertheless, i fell short of my goal, and i was not even chosen as an alternate and i was devastated, hundreds of hours of time spent working on the glazunov concerto, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7lhuxmud3q), a six page long solo with almost no rest, only to be defeated by a mere two lines of music after a flawless rendition of the concerto.
sight reading is supposed to be the 'easy' part of the audition, where you can relax after performing the solo you've spent countless hours practicing for. after seeing what i had to learn in one stressful minute, i took a deep breath and tried my best to create music. to my horror, i failed to play the simplistic lines and felt like a fool. how had i managed to do so well, only to find myself in a situation where i jeopardized my hard work by unlucky circumstances, given a key signature with 6 sharps and irregular rhythms.
in any case, i went in with a similar attitude this year, trying my best to be competitive and beat out every person in the state. nonetheless, i made a conscious decision to set aside my aspirations of getting a perfect score and focused on creating an environment for the judge where i would become more than a nervous high schooler, and more of a professional entertainer who performs not organized noises, but actual music where the judge could appreciate how well i played rather than worry about specific melodies and how they should or shouldn't sound.
in short, my audition last year helped me to grow as a musician to a point where how my audition goes is of less significance to me than how i feel about how i played the music that was written (or unwritten in the case of improvisation) sounded. i feel that my failure was actually my greatest success; without it i would be incapable of the performances i am a part of today.
Monday, May 18, 2015
being a child is cool, don't grow up: ever
eleven years ago, reading was probably my favorite pastime, second to none. i tore through books faster than the speed of light, even though that is a supposed physical impossibility. as i have grown older, my emphasis on learning by reading has shifted to spending all my free time playing video games instead of preparing my future and altogether abandoning my childhood love of stories and words. i have yet to discover the motivation for this change and i now find that i dearly miss my ability to pick up a book, sit down for a couple of hours, read it and have garnered something from it. i am frustrated by my incapability, nay, my unwillingness to return to such a productive habit. children seem to have an aptitude for learning unmatched by anyone else; the simple curiosity of life drives their desire to learn. in kindergarten, i would complain to my teacher without fail, every single day:
one day, "i'm bored!"
another day, "do we really have to spend fifteen minutes a day sleeping?"
yet again... "this is so easy!"
prior to my midyear of kindergarten move up to the first grade, boredom-filled days alongside my fellow detainees felt like a waste of our early years of education. the normally well loved 'nap time' (where i shrunk under a blanket counting every second i was wasting) felt awful to me at the time, when all i wanted was to instead be productive and press on in learning more about... anything. all i thought i wanted was to advance to my adulthood, which was actually a mistake.
my motivation to learn was at a point that it hasn't returned to since those first days in school. my childhood innocence gave way to a false omniscience; for whatever reason, i made an unconscious decision to stop caring about my education. in hindsight, i am beginning to appreciate the childhood i am taking for granted, i find myself missing that goofy five year old kid... don't rush growing up, being a child is a worthwhile experience unclouded by the supposed cold hard facts of being older. limitation on imagination is the worst part of growing up for me; my thoughts are becoming increasingly more constrained by the social construct of reality and "facts." i hope that one day everyone can be blessed with the freedom of thought that a small child enjoys.
one day, "i'm bored!"
another day, "do we really have to spend fifteen minutes a day sleeping?"
yet again... "this is so easy!"
prior to my midyear of kindergarten move up to the first grade, boredom-filled days alongside my fellow detainees felt like a waste of our early years of education. the normally well loved 'nap time' (where i shrunk under a blanket counting every second i was wasting) felt awful to me at the time, when all i wanted was to instead be productive and press on in learning more about... anything. all i thought i wanted was to advance to my adulthood, which was actually a mistake.
my motivation to learn was at a point that it hasn't returned to since those first days in school. my childhood innocence gave way to a false omniscience; for whatever reason, i made an unconscious decision to stop caring about my education. in hindsight, i am beginning to appreciate the childhood i am taking for granted, i find myself missing that goofy five year old kid... don't rush growing up, being a child is a worthwhile experience unclouded by the supposed cold hard facts of being older. limitation on imagination is the worst part of growing up for me; my thoughts are becoming increasingly more constrained by the social construct of reality and "facts." i hope that one day everyone can be blessed with the freedom of thought that a small child enjoys.
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